Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
