Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
