5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
