I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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