Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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