We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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