So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
