Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
