So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
