haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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