Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
