just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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