i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
