I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
