smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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