Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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