Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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