he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Non-Jews are for practice
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
