i may or may not be watching the land before time
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
