No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
