just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I need moral support for this bender
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
