i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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