What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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