My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
