You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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