I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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