just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
