Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
