It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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