I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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