pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
