So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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