my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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