her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
