These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
