Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
