we have officially lost it.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
