shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
