Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
