It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
