Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
