Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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