I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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