i think my tv is drunk
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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