Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You pole danced in your parka.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
