are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
