i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
