He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
