Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
