holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My ATM looks so different sober.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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